He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
