I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
