I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
