why didn't you poke me back
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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