Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
