Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
