I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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