You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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