The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
