He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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