i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
