Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
