how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
