We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
