Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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