I heard we made out
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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