You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
