dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
