Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
