Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Couch. On fire.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
