Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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