my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
These tits shall not be calmed
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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