my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
