Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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