Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
