mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
