i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
