I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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