I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
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