Apparently you make a good broom.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
