Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
