i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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