think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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