We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
