Your tits are I can't wait for
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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