I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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