I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
