Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
