i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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