y did u give ur computer a hand job?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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