Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
bring money and cleavage
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
