its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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