Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
