Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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