So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
