he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
