o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
