Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I will pee on everything he values.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
