i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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