roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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