I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
